It Wasn't Me.

So, from the very first fall at home until his last fall in rehab; my dad has fallen 5 times. He keeps forgetting that he can't stand up on his own, or simply tries to be too independent. After the last fall, they have taken some precautions such as lowering his bed so it is harder for him to get out of bed to begin with, not as far for him to fall, and bringing him out to watch tv by the nurse's station when he wants to sit in his wheel chair, so that he does not attempt to move himself from his chair to his bed again. Then if he does move the nurses are much closer to him.
The nurses and aids have been teasing him because word has gotten around that he has trouble staying in one spot. So yesterday he told them that his evil twin was the one that made him get up, and for Sunday his evil twin was gone, so he wasn't going to stand up THAT day:)

Status Update

We went to visit him last night and he had been to therapy earlier in the day, so he was exhausted from that. He was still unable to get up on his own and is not able to put any weight on his right leg. The strange thing is, is that he can feel it when you touch the right side of his body. He is not able to move his right arm at all but he can feel you touching him.
When he fell yesterday he cut his ear and his head. That really made an impression on him and I don't think he will forget that he can't stand up, at least not soon.
The therapy people have given us notice that they expect him to have to stay in rehab for 1-3 months. This is his longest stay yet. Even the first time he lost feeling in his leg he didn't stay that long.
His speech is a little slurred. It gets worse when he is tired, but after the first day in the hospital his face started to drop on the right side, and his words have been slower and more slurred.
I told him that if his ear was really mangled he could tell people he got in a bar fight and someone bit it off;)
Yesterday he was actually in better spirits than he has been since this new stroke happened. The first night in rehab, he sounded and looked really bad. Yesterday his spirits where higher, and he was happy because they replaced his old box tv with a new flat screen, so I spent a lot of the visit helping him learn how to use the new tv remote so he could watch his tv that night:)

As It Is Today.

When I first started this blog I thought I would maybe use it as a way to keep people up to date on how my dad was doing. Today, that is exactly how I am going to use it. On Tuesday morning my dad woke up and just like every morning he got up and took a shower. However, my mother noticed that he was very shaky and was having trouble with his balance. She told him that he should go back to bed to rest some more. When he tried to get up again about an hour later my mom told him that he was still to shaky to be walking around and tried to get him to sit down while she was holding onto the lapels of his robe, at this point my father turned to his weaker side and fell to the ground taking my mom with him as her hands were caught in his lapels. Now for those of you who don't know, my mother has 7 broken vertebrae in her back and is not supposed to bend over let alone be bent over to the ground by a 26o lb man. Luckily she was just stiff and sore from the ordeal and did not break anything.
My dad's right side had gone numb. He had no feeling in the entire right side of his body and I had to prop him up while my mom called the ambulance to come and bring him to the hospital for tests.
The ambulance and the police came within minutes. Apparently there was another 911 call at the same time in our building. It took them awhile but they got dad onto the stretcher, and took him away. We had yet to get dressed for the day.
By the time we made it to the ER dad's neurologist was in with him and had determined that he needed to be admitted. He had a MRI, and eco cardiogram, and many other tests. Thursday he was transferred from the hospital to the rehab facility. He is still bedridden, and keeps forgetting that he can't walk. He has fallen twice cutting his ear and his head because he thinks he can still walk, he simply forgets that his body no longer works the way it used to. That is where we sit today. I am about to go and visit him.

I Do Not Envy You This Task.

When my dad was in his early 2o's he attended Dunwoody Institute. At that time it was a school that you earned a two year degree as a mechanical technician (mechanic). My dad had never enjoyed school, and while his other siblings went on to four year colleges, my dad wanted to do something where he would be able to work with his hands, something were he would not be stuck behind a desk day after day.
While attending Dunwoody he met a fellow student by the name of Jim. They were of like ages and temperament, and became good friends. After graduation they decided it would be an adventure to move out west, I don't know how Jim handled letting his family know he was moving, but my dad waited until my Grandmother (his mother) left for work one morning, then he loaded up his car and left for Colorado. He called her later that night to tell her he was moving. He didn't want there to be any chance of being talked out of his decision:) Jim and Tom (my dad), moved into Colorado Springs with little to their name, no jobs, no place to live, and no friends or family even close let alone in the state. They both got mechanic jobs, shared an apartment, and had adventures that for some reason I have never been allowed to hear.
Eventually, my dad moved back to the cities long enough to meet my mother, then my parents promptly moved back to Colorado, they moved into Jim's apartment until they could find a place of their own, and my dad began to work for Jim at his shop (mechanic shop). There is not one story that my parents tell from this period of their lives that does not include or refer to Jim in some way. He was my father's best friend for a huge, and important part of his life. About 8 years ago I finally got to meet Jim when we took a family trip out to Colorado Springs and it was like the two of them had not been separated for 20+ years.
My mom and I have been thinking about Jim lately because the time has come to make the phone call to Jim, and tell him that my father is stricken with a disease that has wasted his mind. That while my dad might remember him, there are no precise memories of him for my dad to recall. This horrible chore of calling this long time friend falls on my mother's shoulders and I do not envy her this. However, if I were in Jim's shoes, and a good friend of mine from my past was ill, I would want to know...before I got a funeral announcement.

The Dumbest Thing

So we have been exploring options for when it comes time to place my dad somewhere such as a long term care facility ( also called foster care homes, memory care facilities, and Full time care homes. They don't really refer to them as nursing homes too much anymore even though that's what they are.) We have found one that is literally 4 blocks away from our apartment and offers memory care, which is a housing unit that they live in full time, but instead of things being completely taken care of for them they are encouraged to take care of themselves by doing things like setting and clearing the tables after meals, engaging in games and activities, having chores based on their levels and capabilities. This is where we would like to put my dad as he is only 59 and while he is getting to difficult to keep at home, he is no where close to just sitting around all day. However, when we called to see if his funding would cover this care facility we were told the DUMBEST THING! His funding will not cover the memory care facility because it is hooked onto a long term care facility, but his funding WILL cover a long term care facility. WHAT!? He can't go into the memory care until he is 65, by then he won't need it at the rate his mind is deteriorating! Who do they think needs it more, the older people or the younger people with brain damage?! At this point we can think of no option other than to put him in a long term care facility where he would be left doing nothing but sitting around all day except for the days and times when we would come in and see him. A sure fire fast way for him to go downhill even faster. We haven't made any decisions and don't plan to for awhile, we are still making lots of phone calls, going over people's heads, and banging on doors if we need to. Our conclusion is that there is a huge gap in the care for people with brain damage in the medical field. They simply don't know what to do with these people, how to categorize them, and what benefits if any to award them because their "affliction" is so mysterious and changes so much from day to day. My mom and I can barely keep up with what my dad can and can't do.