As It Is Today.

When I first started this blog I thought I would maybe use it as a way to keep people up to date on how my dad was doing. Today, that is exactly how I am going to use it. On Tuesday morning my dad woke up and just like every morning he got up and took a shower. However, my mother noticed that he was very shaky and was having trouble with his balance. She told him that he should go back to bed to rest some more. When he tried to get up again about an hour later my mom told him that he was still to shaky to be walking around and tried to get him to sit down while she was holding onto the lapels of his robe, at this point my father turned to his weaker side and fell to the ground taking my mom with him as her hands were caught in his lapels. Now for those of you who don't know, my mother has 7 broken vertebrae in her back and is not supposed to bend over let alone be bent over to the ground by a 26o lb man. Luckily she was just stiff and sore from the ordeal and did not break anything.
My dad's right side had gone numb. He had no feeling in the entire right side of his body and I had to prop him up while my mom called the ambulance to come and bring him to the hospital for tests.
The ambulance and the police came within minutes. Apparently there was another 911 call at the same time in our building. It took them awhile but they got dad onto the stretcher, and took him away. We had yet to get dressed for the day.
By the time we made it to the ER dad's neurologist was in with him and had determined that he needed to be admitted. He had a MRI, and eco cardiogram, and many other tests. Thursday he was transferred from the hospital to the rehab facility. He is still bedridden, and keeps forgetting that he can't walk. He has fallen twice cutting his ear and his head because he thinks he can still walk, he simply forgets that his body no longer works the way it used to. That is where we sit today. I am about to go and visit him.

I Do Not Envy You This Task.

When my dad was in his early 2o's he attended Dunwoody Institute. At that time it was a school that you earned a two year degree as a mechanical technician (mechanic). My dad had never enjoyed school, and while his other siblings went on to four year colleges, my dad wanted to do something where he would be able to work with his hands, something were he would not be stuck behind a desk day after day.
While attending Dunwoody he met a fellow student by the name of Jim. They were of like ages and temperament, and became good friends. After graduation they decided it would be an adventure to move out west, I don't know how Jim handled letting his family know he was moving, but my dad waited until my Grandmother (his mother) left for work one morning, then he loaded up his car and left for Colorado. He called her later that night to tell her he was moving. He didn't want there to be any chance of being talked out of his decision:) Jim and Tom (my dad), moved into Colorado Springs with little to their name, no jobs, no place to live, and no friends or family even close let alone in the state. They both got mechanic jobs, shared an apartment, and had adventures that for some reason I have never been allowed to hear.
Eventually, my dad moved back to the cities long enough to meet my mother, then my parents promptly moved back to Colorado, they moved into Jim's apartment until they could find a place of their own, and my dad began to work for Jim at his shop (mechanic shop). There is not one story that my parents tell from this period of their lives that does not include or refer to Jim in some way. He was my father's best friend for a huge, and important part of his life. About 8 years ago I finally got to meet Jim when we took a family trip out to Colorado Springs and it was like the two of them had not been separated for 20+ years.
My mom and I have been thinking about Jim lately because the time has come to make the phone call to Jim, and tell him that my father is stricken with a disease that has wasted his mind. That while my dad might remember him, there are no precise memories of him for my dad to recall. This horrible chore of calling this long time friend falls on my mother's shoulders and I do not envy her this. However, if I were in Jim's shoes, and a good friend of mine from my past was ill, I would want to know...before I got a funeral announcement.

The Dumbest Thing

So we have been exploring options for when it comes time to place my dad somewhere such as a long term care facility ( also called foster care homes, memory care facilities, and Full time care homes. They don't really refer to them as nursing homes too much anymore even though that's what they are.) We have found one that is literally 4 blocks away from our apartment and offers memory care, which is a housing unit that they live in full time, but instead of things being completely taken care of for them they are encouraged to take care of themselves by doing things like setting and clearing the tables after meals, engaging in games and activities, having chores based on their levels and capabilities. This is where we would like to put my dad as he is only 59 and while he is getting to difficult to keep at home, he is no where close to just sitting around all day. However, when we called to see if his funding would cover this care facility we were told the DUMBEST THING! His funding will not cover the memory care facility because it is hooked onto a long term care facility, but his funding WILL cover a long term care facility. WHAT!? He can't go into the memory care until he is 65, by then he won't need it at the rate his mind is deteriorating! Who do they think needs it more, the older people or the younger people with brain damage?! At this point we can think of no option other than to put him in a long term care facility where he would be left doing nothing but sitting around all day except for the days and times when we would come in and see him. A sure fire fast way for him to go downhill even faster. We haven't made any decisions and don't plan to for awhile, we are still making lots of phone calls, going over people's heads, and banging on doors if we need to. Our conclusion is that there is a huge gap in the care for people with brain damage in the medical field. They simply don't know what to do with these people, how to categorize them, and what benefits if any to award them because their "affliction" is so mysterious and changes so much from day to day. My mom and I can barely keep up with what my dad can and can't do.

The First Step is a Doozie

Early this morning I was sleeping and heard a loud noise and my sleeping mind dismissed it, until my mother came in and told me to get up, my father had fallen down twice and she would need my help. So, i threw off the covers and bolted out of bed without putting on my glasses. My dad was laying on the floor of his bedroom, he had lost feeling in one side of his body and when he had gotten up to go to the bathroom it had collapsed out from underneath him pitching him against the wall and onto the floor. Then when he tried to get up a second time, it happened again. By the time I got on the scene my mom had him laying on the floor and he was mad. The status quo had once again changed for him. He had been getting along fine in his mind. He was walking, talking, eating, getting up everyday, he thought he was fine. Then Bam! one morning he is suddenly and rudely reminded that, no just like we have been telling him he is not fine, he does have something wrong with him, and now he has to learn to adjust again.
My mom told him he was going to have to go to the hospital. He was surprised! He just wanted to hang out in his room until he feeling went away. Even though we would have no way to get him to and from the bathroom. Then he was even more upset when he heard that we were going to call an ambulance to come and get him. I don't know how he thought we were supposed to get him to the hospital ourselves when we could not even get him back into his bed without major pains.
The doctor in the ER admitted him even though his strength returned once he was put on oxygen in the ER. He is not happy about having to stay in the hospital, but he always adjusts after a few days and there is no where he feels more comfortable after an episode like this as he is so unsure of what his body and brain are going to do.
I really don't blame him for being angry, going through life and you just wake up one day and suddenly something stops working that you have always taken for granted like the ability to walk. That would make me angry and bitter.

The First Step is a Doozy

My dad fell today. I have the feeling that he has fallen a lot, he just hasn't told me or my mother. The difference today was that he fell outside and scraped up his hand and arm and fell in front of the driver who takes him to his day program. There was a witness this time. Someone who would tell on him. So, right when he got home he came up to us like he needed to say something, but I was reading something to my mom so he had to wait. Then the first chance he got he said "I fell on the stairs, it was so stupid". Then we had to proceed to play twenty questions with him. "did you fall up them or down them?, did you hit your head?, How far did you fall?, Do you remember hitting your head, or not?, Where were you when you fell?, Were you inside or outside?, Did someone see you fall?, What staircase did you fall on?, How many steps were their?, Was their carpeting on the steps?, So, then you didn't hit your head?, Does your back or neck hurt?". Well you get the idea. This lead to deciding that he fell down the concrete steps outside the building; all the way down them, did not hit his head and had to be helped back up by the driver. The point that was worrying was that he was dizzy. This means something is off. So, back to the ER we go. Actually I feel nasty so it is my mom's turn tonight. She called his neurologist and his nurse suggested that we bring him in to get looked over (I think it is an overreaction but what do I know).

Water Hazard

So one of the things the Doctors have always asked is if my dad has problems swallowing. He never really has, until now. I always thought he would have trouble with his food first. Some of the starchier foods such as breads, rice, and potatoes would be harder for him to swallow, as the muscles would not respond as his brain intended. I was wrong. When stroke patients start to have troubles swallowing the first thing they start to choke on is water. That's right, water. The clearest, easiest substance we drink. The substance we must drink in order to go on living. I mean sure you can get water from other liquids, but when it comes down to it your body still needs water to survive. We had slowly noticed that he no longer drank his water with his meals and would only take a sip or two at the end. Then we started to hear the choking noises as he was drinking the water. We have a temporary solution in that of a straw. This makes him take smaller amounts of water into his mouth at a time, giving his brain time to adjust to the idea of swallowing and then he is able to swallow the smaller amounts better. However, it is only a matter of time before we have to start supplementing his water with a mixed liquid that is thicker so that he can drink it while still getting the benefits.

Judgement Call

The river by our house has flooded, and every day my dad goes out to check and see if the water has gone down. Everyday he comes back in and tells me that the water hasn't gone down much at all. There is only one problem with this. He does not remember where the water was yesterday in order to judge if the water has gone down today:)